Alright there manling, the names Rosco and I am thee Dwarf! I’m famous.
Not heard of me? No worry Ill tell ya.
At the tender age of eighty four this is the twentieth year I have been on tour with my band!
Yes I am in a band. The Smashing Anvils were called and man do we smash it. Nominated twice for the golden forge and three time winners of the annual Battle of the Bards.
Oh! you want to hear about my appearance? Okay well. I didn’t always look this good. This silver white beard’s taken a few decades to perfect. I had a bad spell around my seventieth name day where having a heavily braided beard was the way. Anyway it was a bad idea, it kept crashing against my boys downstairs so badly. I was singing a few notes higher through the entire gig!
Rumple our drummers beard nearly took one of my eyes out with his. Which would have been a disaster as my amber eyes are one of me best traits. Or so the ladies tell me anyway.
The hair!? Yeah the Mohawk’s been with me since I was a nipper with five o’clock shadow on my wee chin. I cant change it as its part of what makes me a East Durdle door Dwarf under the Iron hills. Every male Dwarf from East Durdle door Sports a hawk. Were proud folk and no one will ever take away our pride. I love my home even more than I do this band and I would do anything for these lads.
My weapon of choice!? Oh yeah I forget you haven’t heard of us. I play the maddest instrument of them all. I rock out every gig with my instrument. No one compares to me on it. The ladies adore me on it, the blokes are jealous of my skills on it and the children just wanna have a go. I play the Lute!
Six finger Rosco they call me. I can rock a ballad out with five fingers and still flip off the jackass at the bar who thinks he can do better.
On the road, its a serious business. Were all armed at all times, especially in elf territory. My axe hasn’t tasted elf blood and I haven’t snogged a maiden of the wood either but hey, you cant have it all.
Were coming to a settlement of Man in a few days, why don’t you tag along with us? You can hear us play too. Were laying out all the crowd favourites like “ My wife’s got a bigger beard than I” and “If your living above ground, your doing it wrong”. My favourite though and we always end gigs with this is “That barmaid’s got jugs!”. I’m talking about beer jugs o’course.
Look I gotta make a move, but if you are about when we play bring the wife and come see us play. I promise I wont hit on her!
Rock on Manling!